He's my brother
by Peace and Love831
Summary: sequel to The Truth-xover Chuck-Peter runs into Neal outside of his radius or at least who he thinks is Neal,how will he react to find out that its Bryce, Neals supposed to be dead brother & that Bryce doesnt want Neal to know hes not really dead-story #4
1. Chapter 1

With what has been happening with trying to figure out who killed Kate, and trying to find Fowler, Elizabeth and I haven't had much time to spend together as a couple. So we decided to go to The Metropolitan Museum. Of course we didn't tell Neal, because he would have insisted on going with us, and I just wanted to be alone with my wife.

We were looking at one of Michelangelo's First Paintings. At first glance it looked like a bunch of demons were trying to rip apart a man. I know that Neal would have enjoyed this, and now I feel kind of bad for not bringing him, especially for what he has been through. It's only been a few months since he heard about Bryce, and he seems to being doing fine…at least at first glance.

I start to go to the next painting when I see Neal start to leave the museum. Shit, how did he get here, this museum isn't in his radius. I tell El that I will be right back, and follow him out. I catch up to him when he makes it down the steps.

"Neal, how the hell did you get past your radius without sending up an alert" I see him tense and turn around and look at me confused, like he doesn't know who I am. What he's wearing catches me off guard, because he's not dressed in his usual suit type attire. He's wearing dark blue jeans with a gray tee-shirt and a bland black jacket. The shock of him _not_ in high class clothes wears off when I remember where we are, and I get angry

"You found a way out of your anklet didn't you, dammit Neal, I'm going to have to bring you in now" I see a smirk come across his face, like he's tempting me to try, but thinks better of it

"I'm not Neal" out of all the explanations I thought he was going to throw at me, that wasn't it

"Don't play stupid with me, unless there is someone else out there with your face…" I flinch when I realized what I just started to say, I close my eyes and hope that I didn't just re-open up the wounds that are barley starting to heal.

"I take it from the look of sadness on you face, he told you about me…but probably not until after he found out that I…died" he looks off to the right with a small smile on his face

At this point I'm starting to get really confused, is he really trying to pretend that he's Bryce, just to get out of this. I was about to yell at him to knock it off when I felt my phone go off. I look at the display and it says Neal. How can Neal call me when he's right in front of me. Then it comes to me, it's probably Mozzie, although I don't know why he would call me especially from Neal's phone.

"Burke" I answer "Hey Peter, I just heard from someone that you went to the Met, how can you go and not bring me, let alone not tell me about it" my eyes widen in surprise, it sounded like Neal…it was Neal, but how…no, that can't be, Bryce died, he's dead, but then how…

"I'm sorry Neal, I'll take you this weekend ok, I promise, but I have to go" I didn't even give him time to reply before I hang up, and I look at the guy that has Neal's face

"How is this possible, I went to your grave, you're buried" I see his face fall, but only for a split second before he covers it up

"It's a long story, and one I _know_ you don't have high enough clearance for" he says with a smirk on his face…since it was the least of my issues right now, I chose to ignore what he said and move on to more pressing matters, like Neal

"So I take it that you're here to see Neal" he nods his head a fraction of an inch, the action was so small I barely caught it

"I just came to see if Neal was ok" he added as he turned his head to look off to the side

"Oh so you saw him already" his body tensed back up. He hesitated a little before answering

"Ya, I saw him with Mozzie. He seems to be doing just fine. I was just on my way out of town, but I thought I should stop by The Met before I go. Neal once told me it was one of his favorite places to go, so I thought I would try to see what he see's in it"

The way his body language is and how he phrased how he _saw_ him with Mozzie, makes me think that's just what he did, _saw_, so I decided to push it to see if what I thought was correct

"So you talked to him" he turned to stare back at me

"Well no, but…" I cut him off before he could continue

"So you were just coming to see him from a distance. Does he even know you're alive" his face hardened

"No and he's not going to" he retorts

"What do you mean he's not going to, you're his brother, it's eating him up inside that you're dead" we'll at least that he thinks you're dead, I shake my head, I can't believe this guy

"He'll get over it" he growled out,

"How can you say that, why would you want to keep something like this from him in the first place" I cant help but let some of my anger show in my voice

"Dammit, he's my brother, so don't you think I _want_ to see him, don't you think that I _want_ him to know I'm alive so he wont hurt anymore" his voice rises in anger

"From where I'm standing and how you're acting _No_, I don't" I throw back at him

"Well I do, you may know Neal, but just because I have his face doesn't mean you know me to" who the hell does this guy think he is, trying to keep this from the _one _person who deserves to know

"Don't you think he needs to know, don't you care about him at all" I cross my arms and concentrate on not decking him, because it was getting really hard _not_ to

"Of course I care, but that's not the problem" he waves his arms around in anger

"Then what the hell is" I yell

"Because I might die, and for _good_ this time" he yells back, and takes a deep breathe to calm himself down, and then he looks around at all the people that had stopped to look at our confrontation, his shoulders slump slightly and he brings his attention back to me and calmly continues

"It could happen tomorrow or maybe even next week. I'm still an agent, which means that my life is in constant danger, and if I let Neal know I'm alive and end up dying again…he wont be able to get through it a second time" I see fear and worry etched in his eyes, but not at the fact that he might die, but how it will hurt Neal if that did happen

"I love Neal, he's all I've got left, and it kills me that I can't see him, and I know he's hurting because of me, and I really want to take away his suffering, but its still my job to keep him safe, and if I can save him from more pain in the future on my part, than that's what I'm going to do, and I _really _hope that you will respect that" I calmed down after thinking about what he just said, before I spoke up

"I know you think that what you are doing is the right thing, and that you think it will make him hurt less in the long run, but your wrong" apparently he didn't like what I said because anger was back in his voice when he replied

"And how do you know that…huh" I sighed, and paused slightly to think of how to put this so he would understand that what he was doing was a bad idea

"You're right, I don't know…You said there is a chance that you may die, and what if that's true, let's say you do die, what if that gets back to him somehow, that you were alive and died again and he didn't even know…he would feel SO betrayed by you, and not only would he not get over it, but he wont forgive you for it either" I can see in his eyes as he considered what I had just said

"He's my brother…I just want to do what's best for him, is that so wrong" he cant stop his voice from cracking at the end

"I know you do, but just because you think you are doing what's right, doesn't mean that you _are_" he nods his head in understanding, I think I'm finally getting through to him

"Don't tell Neal you saw me, ok" my anger starts to flare back up and I'm about to replay when he cuts me off "I'm not saying that I'm not going to tell him the truth, I just…I don't know what I'm going to do right now, I need to think about it, but _just _don't tell him"

"Neal's my friend, I cant keep this from him" it's true, we have had our ups and downs, but he _is_ my friend

"And I get that, I do. It's just that if I decide I want him to know, _I_ want to be the one to tell him, and I know that you don't know me, but this is my secret to tell, not yours" I get what he's trying to say, I don't like it, but…

"I wont tell him…for now, but I cant promise that one day it might not come up" he nods his head, says thank you and walks off. What have I gotten myself into, how am I _not_ supposed to tell Neal this. I was torn out of my thoughts by hands coming around my waist, I turn around to face El.

**PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME**

**I KNOW IM GOING TO GET GRIEF FOR NOT PUTTING IT IN THE RIGHT CATEGORY, BUT NOT TO MANY PEOPLE WRITE CHUCK/WHITE COLLAR CROSSOVERS SO BARELY ANYONE GOES THERE TO READ THEM, AND IM NOT THE ONLY ONE TO DO IT, I SEE IT ALL THE TIME…I JUST WANT MY STORY TO BE READ, AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE CROSSOVER IT SAYS WHAT IT IS IN MY SUMMARY, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ, I JUST WANT TO WRITE THINGS THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO READ…SO PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK**

**AUTHURS NOTE-NEXT CHAPTERS MOST LIKELY WONT BE SO LONG, JUST SO YOU KNOW, HOPE YOU LIKED**


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't want to tell EL what happened until we got home and had some privacy. When we got home I sat at the table while she went into the kitchen to get us something to drink. When she got back she sat across from me and handed me my cup, and I took a drink

"What happed at the museum" she asks me, and I can see the worry in her eyes

"I don't know if you will believe me, I hardly believe it myself" I say as I run my hands down my face, she waits patiently for me to continue

"When I left the museum, it was because I saw Neal and I went to follow him outside" she looks at me confused

"I thought the Met was out of his radius" I nod my head "so he turned off his tracker some how" I shake my head, not knowing how I'm going to tell her about Bryce being alive, and how I kind of promised him I wouldn't tell Neal, because I know El will be very upset

"I don't understand, if he didn't mess with his anklet, how was he able to be there" she looks even more confused than before

"Honestly…because it wasn't Neal…It was Bryce, apparently he's not really dead" I can see the disbelief in her eyes, but she knows I'm telling the truth because I would never lie to her

"How did Neal take it, he should be happy right, maybe he'll stop being so distant with you now" I look to the side, not really wanting to look her in the eye when I tell her

"He doesn't know" she nods her head

"Ok, when is Bryce going to tell him" she asks, knowing I'm holding something back

"Honestly, I don't think he is" I can feel that her eyes are fixed on me

"What do you mean by that, why would he not want Neal to know" she asks, having the same reaction as I did when I found out, I really love this woman

I look at her and say "Because he's scared"

"That's just ridiculous. So since he isn't going to tell him, are you" I sigh, here comes the hard part

"Here's the thing, I kind of might have promised that I wouldn't" I see anger flare in her eyes

"Peter Burke, tell me you did not just promise that you wouldn't tell your _friend_ that his brother is alive and well" when she says it like that I cant help but feel even more guilty

"I know, I made a mistake. What am I supposed to do. It's not my secret to tell, and there is a chance he will tell him, and I think it would be best for him to let Neal know, not me" I say pinching the bridge of my nose, hoping to relieve some of the stress from what has happened today

"Do you really believe that he will do right by Neal and tell him the truth" I look into her eyes, as her face softens

"I wish I knew, but I hope so. But for now Neal wont know, and I would never ask you to keep something like this a secret, so if you tell Neal I'll stand by you, but _I_ cant, at least not yet" she looks me in the eye, understandingly, reading right through me

"You want to see if Bryce will man up and tell the truth" I nod my head

"Yes, I do" she puts her hand on top of mine and we intertwine our fingers

"Then I'll strand by you. I wont tell Neal, but if Bryce takes to long to tell him, I wont keep it from him"

"I know, I wont either. I love you" she smiles

"I know you do, and I love you to" she gets up, kisses me and takes our cups to the kitchen. I really hope that I am doing the right thing, mostly I'm just hoping that this doesn't blow up in my face. Neal has been through so much, and I don't want to be one of the people to add to it. Bryce, you better do the right thing

BPOV

Here I am, hiding in the shadows of where Neal lives, debating whether or not to go over there, knock on the door and be like "surprise, I'm alive, how was your summer". I know that what Agent Burke was saying was true, he had a good argument about why I should tell Neal.

Then again so did I. I love my brother, and he may be hurting right now, but that doesn't mean he wont get over it. I mean I know he wont fully get over it, that's impossible, but the pain he is feeling right now will get better. It has to. I'm doing what's best for him. He has lost so much, if he knew that I was alive and I die again, [and I will, it's just how it goes, I may be good but I'm not invincible] he would be so broken, the kind of broken you cant fix. Yep, not telling him is the right thing.

And with that I walk away

AUTHORS NOTE-

**I KNOW THIS CHAPTER ISNT AS LONG, AND ISNT AS GOOD, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER, IM NOT REALLY SURE WHAT IM GOING TO DO FOR CHAPTER 3, BUT I WILL TRY TO BRING NEAL IN IT, IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE, LET ME KNOW AND I WILL TRY TO PUT IT IN, CANT MAKE ANY PROMISES BUT ILL TRY, LET ME KNOW**


	3. Chapter 3

Several days had past since my meeting with Bryce. Now I'm at the Met again, since I promised Neal I would take him. We are having trouble locating a jewel thief for the case we are working on right now, so I decided to take a break so I can talk to Neal. I know that Neal wants to pretend like he's ok. He was never good at letting people in, but I know he is still hurting.

"Peter, are you ok" Neal says pulling me out of my thoughts, not realizing that I had been standing in front of the same painting for several minutes.

"I'm fine" Neal gives a slight nod and continues on

"What about you Neal, how are you holding up" Neal shakes his head in annoyance

"We've been through this Peter. I'm fine. Just because I don't want to talk about my brother _doesn't _mean that there is something wrong" he says still looking ahead of him at a painting I can tell he's not really _looking_ at.

"When are you going to let me in Neal. When are you going to stop being so distant. I am your friend, _talk_ to me" he turns just enough to look me in the eye

"You know why I am being distant, we talked about that" Neal says pinching the bride of his nose, I can tell that he is getting upset, but I just want to help, he is my friend after all.

"This was a bad idea. I should have never asked you to take me here" Neal starts to walk away but I catch his arm and hold him back

"Neal…"

"Don't, ok" he says, not being able to keep his voice from breaking "Unless you know of some kind of way to bring people back from the dead…only then can we talk about if I'm _really_ ok or not" he says, his eyes filling with tears, threatening to fall. I know that he doesn't mean to sound so cruel, he's just in so much pain. I cant stand this, I have to tell him about Bryce.

"Neal, there is something I have to tell you" I say seriously, letting go of his arm

"It's about Br…" I didn't get to finish what I was saying when my phone started to ring. I look at the caller ID and see that it's Diane. She would only call if it was important, so I answer

"Burke" I say

"Hey boss, we just located our jewel thief" I can hear the smile in her voice, and even though I am happy that we have finally found our bad guy, I just wished it didn't have to happen at this very moment.

-SEVERAL HOURS LATER-

It's been a long day. We caught the guy, no major injuries, except Neal did get hit on the head pretty hard, thankfully it was just a minor concussion, nothing to really worry about. I had sent him home early so he could relax and I am now just getting home. I was about to enter my house when I heard footsteps come up behind me.

"Peter" I relax at hearing who's voice it was and turn around to face Neal

"What are you doing here. I told you to go home and get some rest" he smirks at me and shakes his head, basically telling me to guess again. It took me a second longer than I would like to admit to understand.

"Bryce" I say and he just looks at me straight on. I take that as confirmation "What are you doing here"

"I heard about your take down today, I just came by to ask if Neal was ok" He is really starting to piss me off. Always wanting to know if he's ok, but doing nothing when he could make him feel more than just ok

"Why don't you go ask him yourself. I'm pretty sure he would love to see you" I retort

"Agent Burke, come on" he says with a smile on his face

"You need to tell him" I hear him let out a sigh

"I told you before, It's for the best that he _not_ know" I cant help but let my temper get the better of me. I walk right up to him, and he doesn't even take a step back, no fear in his eyes at all

"Do you have any idea what he went through, what he _is_ going through since you _supposedly _died, he closed in on himself. He doesn't want to get close to anyone because he's afraid"

-FLASHBACK-

"Neal why don't you talk to me" I say to him

"Because I just can't, ok" No not ok, I take a step closer to him

"Why not" I say, not meaning to shout it

"Because I don't want to lose you" he yells back, and I look at him confused

"What are you talking about Neal, you're not going to lose me" he shakes his violently, trying to hold back is tears, but not succeeding

"You don't know that, you cant _possibly_ know that." he stares at me with a tear stricken face

"Don't you get it Peter, I'm cursed. Everyone I love dies, everyone I get close to leaves me, Kate, Bryce, my mom, I even almost lost Mozzie. So don't you get it, that I cant lose you too. I don't want to get close to you Peter, because when you leave me…I wont be able to take it" he says, sounding more broken than I have ever heard

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"It took us _weeks_, to finally get him to talk to us. Before that, he was like a machine. He did his job, and would only talk to us about work related stuff. He stopped joking with us, he stopped talking to us as friends, but as colleagues" I see sadness flicker through his eyes

"Listen, I don't…"

"_No_, I am done listening. You keep trying to convince me that what you are doing is what is right, but in reality, it's just you trying to convince yourself"

He looks down, no doubt trying to think of something to counter act what I had just said, but I continue before he is able to try to justify his actions

"Tell him Bryce, or I will" I see emotion pass through his eyes, but it was gone before I had the chance to see which one

"I mean it" I say before I walk back up to my house and go inside, not giving him the chance to say no.

NPOV

Very thankful that Peter sent me home early, since my head is throbbing. I'm sitting on the couch, trying to relax like Peter had pretty much ordered me to do, when someone knocks on my door. It's most likely Peter coming here to make sure I followed through. I got up to answer it and when I opened the door I couldn't help but show surprise at who was at my door.

**A VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO **_**Post U Later **_**FOR GIVING ME A START TO THE THIRD CHAPTER SINCE I WAS AT A LOSS AS TO HOW TO CONTINUE**

**AND THANK YOU TO ALL WHO LEFT A REVIEW, IT MAKES ME HAPPY THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN SO FAR**


	4. Chapter 4

I step inside to be greeted by my lovely wife. I wrap my arms around her and give her a kiss

"I take it, that was Bryce" she looks up at me with a smile on her face

"Yep, and he is _definitely_ related to Neal. They are both _so_ stubborn" we both laugh and head up to bed.

_Back at Neal's place_

NPOV

"Well if it isn't CIA Agent Sarah Walker. What are you doing here" she gives me a small smile as she walks inside. We both sit at the table, and she just stares at me for a moment.

"How have you been Neal"

"Good, considering" I say, trying to hide the sadness from my voice, probably not succeeding since Sarah is a spy after all

"Ya, no doubt it has been kind of hectic with the whole Bryce thing" I laugh with little humor

"You know, I remember this time when we were kids, probably about 11 or 12 years old. We were going through a lot at home, and some how we got into this _really_ stupid fight and we said some pretty mean things.

The next day I wanted to apologize, because I could never stand fighting with him, but when I went looking for him, I couldn't find him. I searched all day, and I can still remember exactly how scared I was. It terrified me, thinking that he was gone, that he had left me.

Even then, I knew I didn't want to live in a world without my brother. It was starting to get late when I decided I needed to go home, and I couldn't stop crying. When I had gotten home, I was down right sobbing, and the next thing I know I was being engulfed in a hug, hearing my brother say that it was all going to be ok.

I wanted to yell at him for disappearing on me, but I couldn't. I just held on to him tightly, not wanting to let him go.

He knew why I was crying, because he had spent the whole day looking for me too, wondering where I had gone. It scared him just as much. So he promised me that he would never leave me"

By the end of my story I was trying to hold back tears and I saw that Sarah was on the verge of tears as well

"So where was he, if he wanted to apologize, didn't he just have to go to your room"

"Ya, well; he went for a very long walk, to go clear his head when he woke up. I guess to try to think of a way to get me to forgive him for the things he said." I laugh, remembering the younger version of my brother. Then I remember, that this is all Bryce will ever be, just a memory.

"I just cant believe he's gone" she nods a little

"Ya, I know, but it's not like he'll be gone forever" what is she talking about. I really hope she's not one of those people that believe in the here-after.

"What are you talking about, of course he wont be back" she looks at me with a serious expression

"Don't talk like that Neal, you cant think negative like that. He's just on another mission, he'll be fine" I laugh

"Another mission, is that what you call being dead" she looks at me confused

"What are you talking about, he's not de…" she starts to say before her eyes go wide and she looks at me stunned… "You don't know do you" my turn to look confused

"Know what, what don't I know" she sits all the way back against her chair

"Listen, I don't know that I should be the one to tell you" with that, I get irritated

"Just tell me, if this has something to do with Bryce, I have the _right _to know" I can tell that she was considering it. She looks at me a moment later

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I thought that after he left for his mission that he would have come straight here to tell you"

"Tell me WHAT" I shout the last part

"Bryce isn't dead" no, that's not true, he is dead I went to his funeral, but could it be true…please be true, no I cant believe her, because if she's lying…

"If this is some kind of joke" she shakes her head

"It's not. I mean we did think he was dead, but a couple months later, we found out he wasn't. He was basically in a coma like state till we found him." she looks at me sadly

"He's not dead" How can that be? He is alive. He has been alive, for awhile now and didn't tell me. Why wouldn't he tell me?

Chuck calls and Sarah has to go, leaving Neal to his thoughts. About an hour and a half later he hears a knock on the door. He opens the door to find his brother Bryce on the other side.

Bryce not even getting a chance to say anything gets knocked back from being punched in the face.

BPOV

"I deserved that" I hear Neal snort and then he turns around and walks back inside, not shutting the door behind him, so I walk in after him. I guess he knows.

"I cant believe you B. You've been alive this whole time, and I didn't even hear it from you" he says not bothering to look at me. Guilt fills me, and I cant believe I was stupid enough to think that he wouldn't find out. I should have told him, not Peter.

"So Peter told you huh. I guess I should have suspected as much" he turns to face me, and at first confusion pasted through his eyes, but then it quickly became rage

"Peter…He knew you were alive" I can see that his mind was reeling with thoughts passing in and out

"Well yes, isn't he the one who told you" I say looking at him confused

**THIS IS TO **_januarysunshine13_ **I KNOW THAT YOU WANTED A SARAH AND NEAL SCENE, AND THE SCENE I ADDED WITH THEM WASN'T VERY LONG, AND PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU HAD HOPED, I WILL TRY TO BRING HER BACK IN A LATER CHAPTER, AND I WILL SEE IF I CAN BRING CHUCK TO, IM JUST NOT SURE HOW YET…BUT I STILL HOPE THAT YOU LIKE MY STORY**

**SORRY TO **_JeanneZ84_** I READ YOUR COMMENT AND I KNEW THAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS BRYCE, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT, I WAS ALWAYS PLANNING ON NEAL FINDING OUT BY SARAH OR MAYBE EVEN CHUCK, BUT NOT BY PETER OR BRYCE. I DID WANT IT TO END WITH BRYCE DECIDING TO TELL NEAL, BUT BEING A LITTLE TO LATE**

**EVERYONE ELSE, THANK YOU FOR READING, AND I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER**


	5. Chapter 5

NPOV

Peter wouldn't do that to me. I know he has kept secrets from me before, but he thought that he was protecting me, but this, this is different. He wouldn't keep this from me. And Elizabeth, she has to know too right? I mean Peter wouldn't keep anything from her, which means she was hiding it from me also.

"Well yes, isn't he the one who told you" he looks at me confused, pulling me out of my thoughts

"NO, he isn't" Bryce looks more confused

"If he didn't tell you, then how did you find out" I cant help but laugh

"Your friend Sarah decided to pay me a visit. Checking up on me, to see how I was handling the fact that you're _not_ dead" realization hit him

"Neal, I'm sorry, really I am. I should have told you. I just thought that I was doing what was best for you" I take a step closer to him, seething with anger

"How was not telling me you were _alive_, doing what's best for me. I mean were you _ever_ going to tell me" I see guilt flash through his eyes, and he doesn't even try to hide it

"Neal…" I cut him off, not wanting to hear anymore

"Don't Neal me. I am so mad at you right now, I'm about ready to kick your ass" I say turning around, not wanting to look at him

"You're mad" I laugh, such an understatement "and you should be mad. Yes, at first I wasn't going to tell you, but Peter kept trying to convince me that I was wrong and that I shouldn't be keeping this from you. Tonight I finally decided to listen, and I came here to tell you."

I turn back around to face him

"I'm sorry, but is that little speech of yours supposed to make it all better. Because if that was what you were going for, you are sadly mistaken" his face dropped

"Neal…" again I cut him off

"NO. Don't you get it. Peter shouldn't have had to convince you to tell me the truth. You're my brother, you should have wanted to do it from the start" he looks at me with shame written on his face

"There's nothing I can do about that now, but the fact that I came here to tell you…isn't that good enough" I let out a little chuckle

"You're joking, right. It might have been good enough, if I had heard it from you first, but now it's too little too late. Just because you were _finally convinced_ into telling me, doesn't change the fact, that for months MONTHS you could have told me, and didn't"

"People make mistakes Neal" I nod in agreement

"Yes people do, but _people's_ mistakes isn't what has me hurting right now, it's just yours" I see him flinch at the harshness in my words

"I'm sorry" he says sounding so defeated

"I know you are, and I want to forgive you, I do, but I just cant" he looks down at the floor, and I feel guilty for making him hurt like this, I never liked hurting him, no matter how much he may have deserved it

"At least not yet" he glances back up at me, and I see hope in his eyes that I will "I know that we are fighting right now, and I hope that one day we can fix it, but I want you to know that just because I'm upset with you, doesn't mean that I'm not glad that you're not dead Bryce."

A small smile appears on his face, and he was just about to say something until his phone went off

"Larkin" FBI, CIA, NSA whatever agency they're in, all have bad communication skills

"Yes General, I'll be on the next flight out" with that he hangs up the phone and looks at me, trying to find the right words to explain

"I know Bryce. You have a mission you're supposed to be on. Sarah told me, and it's ok. It'll give me some time to think and calm down" he lets out a breath of relief, knowing that I'm not mad that he has to bail on our conversation

"We'll talk when I get back, right" I nod my head

"I love you Neal and I _am _sorry" he says, and then he leaves "I love you too" I say when I know he cant hear me

Tonight has been a long night, I sit on the couch and try to relax, letting my thoughts take over, but only for about 10 minutes when there is _another_ knock on my door. Boy am I popular tonight. I go to answer it, and if it isn't the one and only Peter Burke. This should be fun.

**HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE...I KNOW IM KIND OF PUSHING IT WITH EVERYONE VISITING NEAL IN ONE NIGHT, BUT I CANT HELP IT...LEAVE A REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW YOUR FEEDBACK...AND I HOPE YOU GUYS ARENT TO UPSET WITH ME MAKING NEAL KIND OF BITCHY IN THIS CHAPTER...JUST REMEMBER THAT I WILL MAKE THIS STORY HAVE A HEA...THANKS FOR READING**


	6. Chapter 6

PPOV

I've been tossing and turning for awhile now. I just cant trust that Bryce will tell him. I cant lie to Neal anymore, I just cant.

I get up and get dressed. I tell a sleepy El where I am going, and that I wont be back for awhile, kiss her goodnight and head over to Neal's.

When he answers the door I don't even give him a chance to say anything before I speak up

"Neal, I have something to tell you" Neal laughs

"What's so funny" he looks at me seriously

"Let me guess. You're here to tell me that a certain someone isn't really dead right" I look at him confused, how did he find out

"Yah, how did you kn…" he cuts me off before I can finish

"You are not the only one to visit me tonight to tell me about Bryce" I sigh in relief, so Bryce came through

"So Bryce decided to tell you, that's good" he nods his head

"Yah, he decided to tell me, but he wasn't how I found out" what?

"Wait, if Bryce didn't tell you, then how did you know" I ask

"That isn't the most pressing issue I have right now" Neal says, as he glares at me "Right now, I just want to know why you didn't tell me" Shit, this is what I didn't want to happen.

"I wanted to Neal, but I wanted Bryce to be the one to tell you first, not me. I thought that it would be better if you found out from him"

"Well if you believed that, then why are you here now" he questioned

"Because I didn't want to wait for him anymore. This whole time I couldn't stand not telling you. Seeing you so upset about you're brothers death, and trying to hide it. I knew the truth and I wanted you to know it to, but I was hoping he would come to his senses and tell you so you wouldn't hurt anymore."

"Yah, well I didn't hear it from either of you, so I guess you could say that you both have put me in more pain then I was in before" I flinch at the harshness in his words

NPOV

I see him flinch, and he looks at me with hurt etched in his eyes as he continues

"I know I didn't tell you before, but I'm telling you now. Doesn't that have to count for something" I laugh at the familiarity in his words

"You know, Bryce pretty much said the exact same thing"

"We're a good team Neal. I don't want to ruin that" he says, choosing to ignore my retort about Bryce

"It's a little to late for that, don't you think" I say with a hardness in my voice

"No Neal, I don't" I chuckle for my response

"I thought I was doing the right thing" I glare at him

"The wrong thing done for the right reason, is still the wrong thing"

"You've lied to me to, Neal" I laugh softly at his attempt to turn this around on me, and make me seem like the bad guy

"You're right Peter, I have. And some of the time I've come clean about it; but even if I hadn't, that is nothing compared to this. The things you've kept from me in the past were wrong, whether you were trying to protect me or not; but this is different, _this_ I needed to know"

I see sadness fill his eyes "What can I do Neal, to make you see that I am truly sorry"

"You don't have to do anything, because I know that you _are_ sorry, but that doesn't make it any easier to know that you lied to me. You know that I have trust issues, and that didn't stop you from destroying the trust I had in you" I say, trying to calm down a little, then feeling the pain of my head injury in full force

"Neal are you ok…" I can hear the concern in his voice

"Please Peter, can we not do this now. My head is hurting from earlier today, and dealing with all my late night visitors and all this drama, it's just to much right now." I rely clutching my head, trying to force the pain back.

"Yah, of course. I'll come back in the morning" I nod, not really looking forward to it.

After Peter leaves, I go to lay down, my head throbbing, hoping that tomorrow doesn't come to quickly.

PPOV

I get to Neal's and June tells me to just let myself in, telling me that Neal isn't doing so good. I do as June told me and I let myself in and see Neal sitting at the table with his head resting on his arms.

I walk over to him and lift his head up getting him to look at me "Neal you look like crap" his face was covered in sweat and he had bags under his eyes, like he didn't get any sleep last night

"You don't look to bad yourself" he comments back, acting like this is some kind of joke

"Neal, we should get you to a hospital" He shakes his head, I see his face crease in agony, and I know that he regrets the movement

"No, no hospitals. I just wasn't able to get a lot of sleep last night with everything that went on. My head just hurts, that's all. I'll be fine, I just need to sleep it off some; Ok."

He pulls his head out of my grasp and lays it back down on his arms "Neal, you need someone to look after you"

"And someone will. I can have June do it, or even Mozzie" he says, his voice muffled from being covered

"Neal…" I try to say, but he lifts his head up some, but not enough to directly look at me

"I cant look at you right now…ok. I just need some space, and the few days that I need to take off to get better will help me with that"

Not wanting to leave it at that I go over to the other side of the room and call El. Maybe she can get through to him. She always knows what to do.

When I hear a knock on the door I let El in, she looks over to where Neal is sitting and seeing how much pain he must be in, she turns her attention back to me

"Is he ok" not getting a chance to answer

"He's fine" we hear Neal say from across the room "Now how about you two stop talking about me like I'm not in the room" we both face him

"Neal its understandable to be feeling emotional right now, and the pain from your head wound isn't helping" I almost jump at his sudden fit of laughter, I watch him slowly get up and come over to us, but not to close, like he doesn't want to be near us

"Emotional, is that what you want to call it. I just found out that not only was my brother not dead, but that the two of you were going to keep it from me. I mean I know that I have been distant lately, because I cared about you guys and the fear of losing you was to much, but how could you guys do this to me, I thought you cared"

I never told him that Elizabeth knew, but Neal knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't keep anything from her. I should have known that he would figure it out, and now I've dragged her down with me.

"Neal, we do care" El says, sadness filling her voice

"Get Out" he growled out

"Neal…" I say, trying to reason with him

"I said get out" he screamed. Knowing that we aren't going to get anywhere today, I motion for El to head for the door. We just have to let him calm down some and get better before we try again. And we _will_ try again. I wont lose his friendship. I know that I have lost his trust right now, but I will do all I can to get it back. Before I leave I make sure that June lets me know if things get any worse.

**AUTHORS NOTE TO **_**crazy diva**_** I LIKE YOUR IDEA. I WILL TRY TO DO THAT IN A LATER CHAPTER, I'VE NEVER DONE A WHUMPAGE STORY BEFORE, SO I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO**

**THANK YOU FOR READING…I ONLY GOT ONE REVIEW LAST CHAPTER, I HOPE THAT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT WAS BAD, PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW HOW IM DOING**


	7. Chapter 7

It has been a couple of days since I kicked Peter and El out my place. June's been helping me get better, and Mozzie, well he just sits on my couch and talks about pretty much anything.

June has been trying to get me to talk to Peter, but I just haven't been up to it. I am almost completely better, but I'm just not ready to face all this _Bryce_ stuff.

I hear a knock on my door, and I go to answer it, thinking it's June to come and check up on me again. So I was surprised to open my door and find out it wasn't.

"Sarah" I say and move out of the way to let her in. She moves to sit at the table and I close the door and join her.

I sit across from her and she looks me in the eye "Sorry about just leaving before, but…"

"Chuck called, I get it, no need to be sorry. So why did you come back here" I asked looking directly at her

"Because I dropped a really big bombshell on you, and I couldn't just leave it at that" I nod my head in understanding

"It's ok, _I'm_ ok, you can go back home, you really didn't need to come back here" she shakes her head

"Yes I did, and just because you say you're ok, doesn't mean that you are" I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, not really wanting to discuss this right now, especially with her, I barely even know who she is.

"I'm here for you Neal. I know that you don't know me that well, but you can talk to me"

"Why, why do you care so much" I say, not meaning to reply so harshly

"Honestly" she says

I laugh "Yah, it'd be nice to have some of that right about now" she smiles softly

"Because of Bryce" anger flares inside me

"Wait Bryce sent you here" I replied, rasing my voice. She shakes her head.

"No, that's not what I had meant. Before all this crap happened, Bryce and I were really close, and I loved him, I still do, with you being his family, I cant just _not_ be there for you" hearing that, my anger subsides

"Thank you" I say calmly

SPOV

"I know what Bryce did was wrong" I couldn't help but notice how he tensed up

"But do you think you will ever be able to forgive him" he lets out a sigh and looks off to the left

"He's my brother, or course I can forgive, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to do that just yet"

"And Peter" I see hurt flash through his eyes before he closes them, no doubt trying to hide it from me

"Well, he's not my brother, is he" I grab his hand, to comfort him, and he opens his eyes and looks at me, and I can see a faint hint of sadness in them

"That may be, but he _is _your friend" he laughs

"I think you meant to say he _was_ my friend" he says as he looks down at the table

"Neal, you're just angry, and it's understandable. You feel betrayed" his head snaps up and he looks at me with such an intensity

"You're damn right I do. He was supposed to be my _friend_, and he _lied _to me. He has kept things from me before, and even though I was angry about it, I could see why _he_ thought he was doing what was best, and I could get past it; but this…this I _cant _get past." he sits back against his chair, looking so defeated

"Even if I do forgive him for this, I could never forget"

"You know that you have done some things to" I say, trying to get him to see that Peter has forgiven him for things he has done wrong.

"Yes, you're right. I've lied to Peter, I've went behind is back, and done things I know that he would be upset about. But that doesn't even come _close_ to what he just did"

"You're angry" he snakes his head no, and takes his hand out from under mine

"I'm beyond angry, I'm not even in the vicinity of pissed off. If there was a word that could combined angry, pissed, and furious, _that_ is what I am right now" he takes a deep breath, trying to calm down, running his hands down his face. After a few moments he looks back at me

"I get what you're trying to say, I do. Peter and Bryce made a mistake. They were trying to do the right thing by me, and they just happened to be wrong. And I know that I should take that into consideration and not be so mad. But I just cant help it. I try to see it from their prospective, but I just feel so betrayed that I cant look past that betrayal." he says looking so sad

"I'm sorry Neal. I'm just trying to help. I can understand why you don't want to forgive them, but in my line of work, I have first hand knowledge that you don't always have the time you think you do with someone. Losing Bryce the first time should be enough proof of that for you"

"I know that he didn't really die, but to you, he _was_ dead until now. So be mad, yell and scream, get it all out, but then sit down and talk with them. Tell them that their betrayal hurt you, tell them that you are upset and it's going to take you awhile to trust them again, and when you're ready, tell them that you forgive them, because if you wait to long, you might not get that chance, and you _will _regret it" I can see him thinking it through

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pull it out and it's a text from Casey. _"Beckman has a new mission for us, come back ASAP"_ Shit.

"It's ok, you can go. I will give some thought about what you said" I give him a sad smile

"I'm sorry Neal, I don't want to run out on you again" he chuckles

"It's ok, really. You've helped me think things through, you have given me new insight, so I appreciate it" I get up and he gets up with me. I give him a hug and tell him we'll talk again some time soon and head out.

NPOV

I know she's right. I have to wait to talk to Bryce, but I don't have to with Peter and El. So I'm going to go over there and talk to them.

I head out and I'm walking down the street when a white van with tinted windows in the front and no windows in the back stops right by me and three men with masks run towards me grabbing a hold of me. I don't have time to yell for help when one of the men sticks a needle in my neck, and my head starts to feel like it's floating right before my world suddenly turns to black.

**WARNING…IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I _WILL_ BE HURTING NEAL A LITTLE BIT, OR MAYBE A LOT, IM NOT ENTIRELY SURE YET…ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING WITH HURT IN IT, SO IT MAY NOT BE UP TO PAR…I HOPE YOU LIKE THOUGH, I WILL LEAVE A NOTE AT WHICH POINT THE HURTING IS, IN CASE YOU WANT TO SKIP IT**

**THIS IS TO crazy dive YOU HAD LEFT A COMMENT SAYING YOU WANTED TO SEE NEAL WHUMPAGE, HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT WHEN YOU READ THE NEXT CHAPTER…THANKS AGAIN FOR THE IDEA**


	8. Chapter 8

**SORRY IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO UPDATE, I WAS REALLY BUSY AND COULDN'T FIND ENOUGH TIME TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER, BUT IM GOOD NOW, IVE EVEN STARTED THE NEXT TWO, SO IT WONT TAKE SO LONG FOR THE NEXT UPDATE …THE PART THAT HAS HURT WILL HAVE ***** ABOVE IT WHEN IT STARTS, AND BELOW IT WHEN IT ENDS**

**JUST SO YOU KNOW, THERES VERY LITTLE IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT IM PLANNING ON ADDING MORE AND MAKING IT MORE PAINFUL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, WHEN YOU READ THE NEXT ONE I HOPE YOU DON'T HATE ME TO MUCH FOR HURTING NEAL**

**FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE I MADE THIS CHAPTER A LITTLE LONGER THAN THE OTHERS INSTEAD OF CUTTING IT DOWN**

I started to come to, my head feeling a little funny, probably due to what ever drug they had injected me with. I look around, and I can barley see anything its so dark. I hear footsteps coming down what I guess is a flight of stairs. When a door opens and the lights go on. The sudden brightness hurts my eyes so I keep them closed for a moment.

I open them to see three men standing before me. I look around for a moment, and I can tell that I am in a basement, no windows. There's a small table off to the side, like the kind surgeons keep there tools on, and there's a white clothe over it, keeping me from seeing what's underneath it, and I don't think I want to know, but whatever it is, I know it's going to be painful.

One of the men, who I take is the guy in charge, sits in a chair that's directly in front of me. He has a nasty scar on the left side of his face, going from his eye down close to his chin. The other two just look like standard thug bodyguard type guys in black clothing.

"You were out of it for quite awhile, I think my friends here injected you with to much of a high dosage. I was hoping I could start the fun soon after you arrived, but you've been unconscious for hours now"

I look at the guy in front of me, not liking the way he said fun, and assuming that it wouldn't be, at least not for me "Where am I, what do you want" he gave me a look that pretty much said that I'm stupid and should know why I'm here

"I want you, Bryce" what?

"Bryce, wh… Do I know you" the man chuckles and sits back against the chair

"You don't remember me. I'm hurt. You see this scar on my face. Don't tell me you don't remember giving it to me" if he thinks I'm Bryce, I cant tell him that I'm not. Not only would be still hurt me, but he'd use me to get Bryce to come out too so he can take him as well, and I cant let that happen

"Yah, I don't know how I could forget a face like yours…I mean you are _ugly_" again the man laughs

"Always with the jokes in the face of danger. You never change. That's ok though, because I'm going to have so much fun breaking you down" he says before he gets up and walks over to the little table and pulls the clothe off. I cant suppress the gulp at seeing all the tools that will be used on me. I just hope that Bryce and Peter find me soon.

MPOV

It's been a couple of hours since we found out Neal went missing. I was at the suits house staying with Mrs. Suit to make sure she was doing ok. We had been sitting at the kitchen table for awhile now, waiting for news regarding Neal. Not really saying anything, not knowing what to say. What could I say, I never was good at this whole consoling thing. Neal's missing, my only real friend, I don't know how to process that, so how am I supposed to help El with that, when I cant even get through it, but I know that I've got to try, if she could, I know she would do it for me.

"El, how are you holding up" she looks up at me, her face stricken with sadness

"Not good Moz. I know that several people are out there looking for Neal, some of the best people, but I just cant help but think that they might not…" she says blinking back tears, not being able to finish what she was saying

"Don't go there ok. Like you said, some of the _best_ are out there right now looking for him, and they _will_ find him, and I wouldn't like to be the thing that's standing in their way" I say hoping to convince her that it was going to be all right, I just wish I could convince myself of that

She gives me a small, sad smile "Thanks" I nod my head and give her my own smile filled with sadness

_Back at the FBI office_

BPOV

We have been searching and trying to figure out who would want to harm Neal, but how am I supposed to find him, I mean we wouldn't have even known he was captured if it wasn't for a bystander that saw him get shoved into a van.

Anger fills me, remembering watching the surveillance tapes that we got from across the street, watching as a van pulled aside my brother and three men grabbed him and shoved him in. I swear, when I find out who was involved in this, the people responsible will be six feet under. I take a deep breathe, trying to calm myself down, knowing that it isn't doing any good at the moment.

Sarah went to one of her contacts to get information, and Peter, Diane and Jones were going through files, trying to find out what criminals had recent contact with Neal; but what good is looking through a damn file going to do. I should be out there bashing heads getting information that way.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Sarah came walking in with a folder in her hand "My source found out who took Neal" I look at her shocked, impressed that her guy had found out so soon

"That was fast, how did he do that" she looks at me with an uneasy expression, and I know there is more to the story

"Because the guy that took him isn't trying to hide it" he's an FBI consultant, why wouldn't he try to hide it, he should know that the FBI would go looking for him

"Why not, what aren't you saying" she looks at me for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell me what she knows

"The guy that took Neal thinks he has you. He's not trying to hide it, because he wants the world to know that he captured the great Bryce Larkin" that catches me off guard

"What" I grabbed the file from her and open it, and couldn't believe who's picture was staring back at me

_Back to Neal_

********  
>"We're going to be playing a little game called Russian roulette" he says behind me and I hear him spin the cartridge of the revolver. Then suddenly I feel cold steel against my temple, I freeze, my heart hammering in my chest, and my throat closing, beads of sweat instantly forming on my forehead and the click of the revolvers hammer loud in the silence as he pulls the trigger, but no bullet.<p>

Trying to think of something to keep him from pulling the trigger again "You're bluffing" I blurt out. I know, not my best, but I'm hoping that I'm right

"Am I now" he says as he walks in front of me with a smirk on his face. He points the barrel of the gun back up to my temple.

"You hate me. You obviously want to hurt me, and drag it out. You wouldn't take the chance of me dieing by playing this game" he stares at me for a moment, not saying anything, and his facial expression is blank, so I cant read him.

After another moment he lets his arm drop to his side "You were always a very smart man" he says before he brings his arm up so fast, and hits me across the face with his gun. My face explodes in pain. "To smart for your own good. You take the fun out of everything" he says, not sounding that disappointed. I close my eyes trying to will the pain in my head away.

"What has my curiosity peaked though…Why did you have a tracking anklet on you" I open my eyes to see my cut anklet in his hand. Shit!

I don't know how he knows Bryce, does he know he's an agent, or was he undercover when they met, it can be an infinite possibilities and I have to choose the right one. If I say the wrong thing, it'll make him suspicious. Come on, think Neal, you can do this.

"What can I say, I get carried away sometimes" I say with a smirk on my face, and I hope that it works. He looks at one of his thugs and tilts his head towards me a fraction of an inch, and with that one movement, the thug comes over to me and punches me in face.  
>******<p>

_back at the office_

I open the folder to reveal Carlos Garcia, a man that has wanted me dead for quite awhile now, and he has Neal. I don't even want to picture the pain he is putting my brother in right now, but I cant help it. I cant suppress the anger that starts to build in my chest

"I'm going to kill him" I said and started to head towards the door, before a hand came out and grabbed my arm and held me back

"Calm down Bryce, we'll find Neal and get him back safely, but we cant go in half cocked, it wont do him any good" Peter says to me with a serious blank expression, but I can tell that he is just has worried as I am

"I cant stay here and wait for my feeling to get sorted out, Neal might not make it by then" I say, barely succeeding in making sure my voice doesn't break

"Bryce…" I shake my head, not wanting to hear him try to convince me otherwise

"I promised him growing up that I wouldn't let anything happen to him, that I would keep him safe. I may not have been the best brother, but I will make _damn_ sure that I keep that promise. I'm going to get him back, and I _am_ going to kill the person that took him"

Peter shakes his head, not liking where my head is at, but lets my arm go anyways, before he has the chance to tell me that killing Carlos is a bad idea Sarah cuts in

"I know that you want him dead for taking Neal, but we have to bring him in. It's protocol" anger surges through me

"Well screw protocol" I reply, not meaning to raise my voice so loud

"Bryce" she replies, and I can see the struggle in her eyes and I know that she cares for Neal to

"If it was Chuck, tell me you wouldn't want this guy dead, that you wouldn't _try_ to make this guy dead" I say calmly. Her jaw drops slightly and I can tell the I caught her off guard

"I don't know wh…" I interrupt her as she tries to pretend she doesn't know what I'm talking about

"I'm not stupid Sarah. I see the way you look at him, it's different than how you looked at me" her face holds shock at hearing me say this, and I see Peter and his team looking between us, not really sure what's going on

"This isn't the time _or_ the place. I need to get my brother" I growl out before heading out the door, trying to push down the guilt that this is all my fault. I need to find out where he is keeping Neal, and then he is going to die a slow and painful death.

_Back to Neal_

*******  
>For awhile now, its been his thug repeatedly punching me in the face. My face convulsed with pain, the taste of blood filled my mouth. I expected the pain of another punch to come, but the man spoke instead.<p>

"You're not Bryce are you" that took me by surprise as I look up at the man, hoping that the shook of his question didn't come through

"What are you talking about, who else would I be" I say, trying to deflect the question

"Ok then, tell me how long its been since we last saw each other"

"You've had your man there repeatedly hit me in the face, I no doubt have a concussion, and you expect me to remember something like that right now" he takes a beat to think it over before he nods his head a fraction

"Fine, I'll give you that, dates might be to much for you right at this moment, so I'll give you an easier one" he says as he leans in close to my face, just inches away. I can feel his breathe on my face "Why do I want you dead"

"Cutting up your face isn't reason enough" I say giving him a smirk, hoping that he'll take that as an answer.

He walks over to the table and picks up a scalpel. I take that as a no. He comes back to stand right in front of me, just playing with the scalpel with his fingers. After what seemed like forever, but honestly could have only been a few moments, I see his eyes widen drastically, like he just figured out some deep dark secret.

"You're his brother, aren't you" shit, I try to say something to get him off that idea, but he continues "That's just perfect. This is going better than I had planned. I'm going to have serious fun with you" I don't even try to defect his thought, because I know that he knows the truth now, and to try to convince him other wise would just be pointless and a wasted effort.

"I thought we were having fun" I joke, trying to lighten the mood

He gives me this evil smile, that would make a harden criminal cower from it "Oh no, now that I know I can hurt Bryce more by hurting you, it's going to be getting a whole lot more painful for you"

I swallow hard, my heart pounding wildly in my chest, so hard that it feels like its going to make my chest explode. Peter, Bryce, where are you, I need you.

**HOPE IT WASN'T TO BAD…PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW SO I KNOW HOW I DID =)…LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO SEE ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN, IM ALWAYS OPEN FOR IDEAS**


	9. WHUMPAGE DONT READ IF YOU DONT LIKE

**WARNING **

**THIS CHAPTER HAS A LOT OF HURT IN IT, SO THERE WILL BE NO NOTICE EXCEPT FOR WHEN IT STARTS, BECAUSE ITS PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE CHAPTER. **

**EXCEPT FOR THE ONE SCEAN WITH BRYCE, IT WILL ONLY BE OF NEALS POV & THIRD PERSON, IM NOT CREATIVE ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW THEY FIND OUT WHERE HE IS**

**I KNOW THERE HAS BEEN SOME SPELLING MISTAKES, AND I APOLOGIZE, I RUSH READ OVER IT SO I CAN POST IT FOR YOU GUYS, I HOPE THAT MY BAD GRAMMER AND PUNTUATION DOESN'T PUT YOU TO OFF FROM MY STORY, I WILL TRY TO DO BETTER**

My captor is over at the table, reading a file that some other thug came in and game him.

"Neal Caffrey, Conman" he laughs and looks at me "That's kind of ironic isn't it; your brother's some big CIA Agent, and you're some low life scum like us. Too funny" anger rises inside me, how can this thug think I'm like him

"I am _nothing_ like you" I snapped out, as I glare dangerously at the other man

"Is that right" he says as he turns to face me, folding his arms across his chest, with amusement dancing in his eyes

"Yeah, that's right" I growl out

"Ever kill someone" I shake my head no, of course not

"Ever want to" he asks calmly

"You mean besides you" I retort back.

Thinking about it though, there were several times where I wanted someone dead. Ryan Wilkes, Matthew Keller, John Casey, Garrett Fowler, just to name a few. But wanting someone dead, and actually killing someone are two different things.

But on the other hand, I know that if I _ever_ run into Fowler, I _will_ kill him for taking Kate from me.

"Ah, right there" he says coming closer to me and pointing at my eyes "Who ever just popped in your head. I can tell that you crave fresh blood from just that look. So see, we're not to different, you and I" he says gesturing between us, and then a smile appears on his face and he goes back over to the table. Wanting to get off this subject, I change it.

"So what's your name" he looks at me for a moment before he answers

"Carlos" he says coldly

"Why are you doing this, Carlos" if I'm going to be getting tortured and most likely going to lose my life if I don't get found, then I at least want to know why.

He stops messing with the file and turns to look at me "That's right, you don't know" he says with a smirk, and just like that he was inches from my face and the smirk was gone.

"I'm _doing_ this because Bryce killed my brother" and before I can even process what he just said, he stands up and backs away a little and a smile returns to his face "And I'm thanking my lucky stars that I have the chance to return the favor"

* * *

><p><em>back to the FBI office<em>

BPOV

"Why does this guy want you dead" Peter asks me as everyone follows me out of the room

"I took something from him" I say, hoping he'll just leave it at that

"What did you take" I let out a sigh, guess no such luck

"His brothers life" I say nonchalant, everybody stops. I stop and turn to see everyone's shocked expression at what I had just confessed "And it's just a matter of time before he figures out that Neal isn't me" I gulp thinking of what's going to take place when that happens "And in that moment when he realizes who he really has, its going to get a _whole lot_ worse for Neal"

"How so" Diane asks, looking like she already knows the answer, but hoping she's wrong

"Torture. If he had me, he'd just hit me a lot, and only get into the torture stuff for a little while before his rage at what I had done makes him finally kill me, but since he has Neal. He's going to drag it out, _knowing_ that it's going to hurt me just to think about it, and then when he's done with Neal he'll come after me" I say looking down at the ground, pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to make the images of Neal being torture get out of my head

"Maybe he wont find out, Neal _is_ pretty good at convincing people he's someone he really isn't" I shake my head

"That wont work with Carlos. He's smart for a low life thug. He'll bring up what I did, but in the form of questions. Questions that Neal wont be able to answer. He wont be able to side step it and make some snide comment and get away with it"

"How do you know this" Peter looks at me suspiciously

"Because I worked with Carlos. I know him, what he says, and what he does. He's got a psychopathic personality."

"How could you work with someone like him" Diane says disgusted

"I didn't have a choice. When you're given a mission by the CIA, you take it" I growl out, getting agitated at the interrogation, especially since there are more pressing issues at hand

"What was your mission exactly" I glare at Peter

"It's class…"

"Don't give me that whole it's classified crap. This is Neal we're talking about, we need to know everything so we can catch this guy and bring Neal back" Peter yells out

"I know that, but I cant give you details about the mission and you _know_ that. What I can tell you, is that I had to get close to him. Get in his inner circle." realization hits him

"His brother…You had to get close to him to get to his brother didn't you" I don't reply, I just stare at him, and he takes that as a yes

"It wasn't to kill him…right" Jones asks

"No, but unfortunately that's how it ended up going anyway" I say before turning back around to find out where that bastard is keeping my brother

* * *

><p>I saw him whisper something in one of his guard dogs ear and then the guy left. That was about an hour ago, who knows what he was having him go do.<p>

Carlos, just sitting in the chair looking at me with this intense stare. Trying to think of something to say to get me out of this, like how this has nothing to do with me, but then thinking that if I save myself that doesn't mean that I would be saving Bryce. I may die a slow and painful death here, but maybe that will give Bryce time to find him before he gets found, or hide, even though I know that's not who Bryce is.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when the guard dog comes back in carrying a duffel bag. Carlos gets out of his seat "about time" he says and the thug puts the bag down near the table.

"What's that for" I ask suspiciously, but not sure I really want to know

"Well since you're not Bryce, _you're someone better_, I want to use some of my other, _special_ tools" he says with an evil smile, pulling out a blowtorch. Fear overflows me at the thought of getting burned with that, especially since every time I try to sleep I see flames engulfing Kate in the explosion.

"Wait," I gasp out, holding my hand up against the ropes, trembling a little more than I'd like "Y-you don't have to do this"

He laughs, hard and loud "You really aren't going to start begging now are you. I mean, take it like a man" I just stare at him. Trying to swallow my fear down, and not having any luck

He laughs "Relax, this isn't for you" he says as he pulls out a cigarette and turns the blowtorch on. He tilts his head a little and lights the cig. I exhale a long breathe that I wasn't aware I was holding.

He takes a drag from his cigarette, the blowtorch still on. He reaches in the bag and pulls out a red-hot poker. "This, however _is_ for you" he says before he puts the end of the stoker in the fire from the blowtorch. The tip turns orangeish red.

He places his lit cigarette on the table and walks over to me "This is for my brother" he says before he places the hot poker on my left forearm.

**THIRD PERSON POV**

Feeling the burning sensation on his skin, Neal cries out.

"We're just getting started. I would hope that you can take more then just this, because this is me being nice. And believe me when I say this, it's not going to last long" Carlos tells him. Neal just glares at him for his response.

Carlos smiles and places it on him again, but this time on his upper chest and again Neal cries out in pain.

Carlos goes closer to Neal and Grabs his hair and yanks his head back, Neal flinching at the harshness of his neck getting reared back. Carlos placing the hot poker near his eye.

"Maybe I should take an eye. It's not like your going to be using it much longer anyways right"

"Bryce is going to kill you" Neal yells out, and Carlos laughs

"Not if I kill him first" Carlos says with a smile in his voice

"Fat chance" Neal says truthfully, so confident, because he knows that someone as low as Carlos could never take down his brother

Carlos throws the stoker on he ground, landing in a loud clang, and stands in front of Neal, holding his face in between his hands, staring into his eyes

"You have such _trust_ and _faith_ in Bryce. I wonder if I can break that" he says, still looking deep into Neal's eyes. Like he's trying to see in side his soul

"You can't" Neal says, completely unafraid of that possibility

Carlos shrugs "Maybe if I convince you that he's not coming for you. That he doesn't care enough to want to find out where you are, that he's glad that he can finally be rid of you" Neal just shakes his head

"Won't work" Carlos stands up but still looks down at Neal

"You sound so sure. There is other ways to torture someone without physically harming them you know"

"It wont work, because I don't want to be found" shock appears in Carlos' eyes for just a moment before it's gone

"I don't believe you"

"I have no reason to lie. I mean yeah, at first I had hoped that he would have found me by now, but now I hope he doesn't" Carlos glares at Neal, not sure if he really believes him or not

"What changed"

"I realized what a _complete_ psycho you are, and I don't want you anywhere near my brother" Knowing that Bryce could take him, but not wanting to take the chance that Carlos or his thugs could get the jump on him

"You know, it's not very smart to insult the guy that has you tied to a chair with lots of harmful objects just a few feet away" Neal suppresses the gulp, and just glares at Carlos

"Hmm, I guess it's time to move onto more painful tactics then" he said as he went back over to the table, taking a drag from his cig, looking through his tools, deciding what he should do next. He looked over at Neal.

"Which would you prefer; for me to break your fingers, or for me to rip out your finger nails. I heard denailing is _very_ painful, but never had the pleasure of trying it out on someone. Maybe I should do both."

Sweat started forming on Neal's forehead. Inhaling a shaky breathe "Do what ever you want, just know that you wont live to regret it for very long" Carlos smiled

"Alright then, lets go with denailing" he says, keeping the cig in his mouth, picking up pliers and heading over towards Neal.

He places the pliers on his right index finger "You might want to take a deep breath"

"Careful Carlos, I might actually think you care" Neal says, smiling faintly, then Carlos pulls on the pliers.

A scream ripples from Neal's throat, tears threatening to fall, not having a second to take a breath as Carlos moves onto the middle finger.

Neal screams out in pure anguish, hoping that the pain would be to much for his body to take, and unconsciousness would take him, but with no such avail. Carlos backs up with a sadistic smile on his face. Pliers in one hand and his cig in the other

Neal's hand was in searing pain, that got worse with each passing moment.

"How did that feel" Neal glances up at him

"Why don't we switch places and I can do it to you, and then you'll know the answer to your own question" Carlos laughs out, throwing the pliers on the table and goes to hold Neal's left hand

"I like you, I really do. It's going to be such a shame when I have to kill you. All because of the mistake your brother made, but actions have consequences, and your death is part of it" he says looking down at Neal with a twinge of sadness in his eyes. Then a moment later he breaks Neal's hand.

Neal gasped, his eyes widened, mouth gapped and let a scream of agony out. Dizziness consuming him.

"Don't even think about passing out Neal, the funs just starting" he warns before he puts out his cigarette out on Neal's neck.

The pain being to much for Neal, he couldn't stop himself as he plunged into unconsciousness.

Carlos barking orders at one of his thugs. A few minutes later, the guy came back carrying a bucket filled with ice cold water. Carlos points to Neal and the thug tosses it on him.

NPOV

My head yanks back up at the shock of being drenched in cold water. A fist connected with my face, and pain exploded throughout my head

"I believe I said, _not_ to pass out" Carlos says to me before going to pick up a scalpel. He grabs my hair and pulls my head back, and to the side. He placed it lightly on my neck and gently pressed down, just enough to draw blood, a whimper of pain escapes from my lips

"You really shouldn't defy me. I tend to get angry when people don't listen to me" he says before pressing down harder. I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out. I feel the blood pouring down my neck and onto my shoulder.

I cant keep myself from trembling, from my cold soaked clothes and from the unbearable pain that my whole body was in.

Wanting the pain to stop. I cant do anything but sit here and suffer. Wanting to call out for someone to help, but if my screams brought no one, then calling out would do nothing. I know that I told him I didn't want my brother to come looking for me, but I change my mind. I don't know how long I can take this. If I could give up I would, I hurt so much.

Where's Bryce. He should have found me by now. Does he not know that I have been taken. Does he not care. Was I so hard on him, that he wouldn't want to come for me.

No, don't think like that Neal. It's just the pain taking its toll on you, that's all. Bryce will find me, he has to. Tears falling from my eyes.

"Had enough, have we" he laughed, short, sharp and definitely not humorous. I hear him behind me messing with his belt. A moment later I see it come past my face, and then I feel it pressing against my neck, as he chokes me.

I try to gasp for air, but I cant seem to make air reach my lungs. My right hand clutching onto the chair.

I feel death about to take me, when suddenly the belt loosens and air rushes to my lungs. I cough, my eyes watering with the sheer pain, my breathing coming out in sharp, deep rasps. My throat feeling like a thousand burning needles were jabbed in at the same time. I would have doubled over, if I wasn't tired to a chair.

"Do you want me to make the pain stop Neal. I can do that. All you have to do is ask"

My body was overtaken with pain. It made me want to ask him, no _beg_ him to end it. But I cant do that. I have to stay alive as long as possible. Even if I don't make it, I want Bryce to know that I fought to stay alive.

I get pulled from my thoughts at the sound of Carlos' laugh "I'm just messing with you" he says as he ruffles my hair. He goes and puts on his jacket that was draped across the chair.

"Well I've had my fun and I repaid the favor. Now it's time to go after your brother" no

"Wait, that's not returning the favor if you kill Bryce, that's no where near being even, and you're already passed being even as it is" Neal cries out, voice hoarse from screaming and being choked

"And how's that"

"I know for a fact that Bryce didn't torture your brother" I answered painfully, my throat throbbing more with pain each time I talk.

"I'll give you that, my brother died pretty fast" _pretty_ being the key word. I take it, that means he may not have died slow, but he didn't die right away

Carlos grabs the gun off the table, letting it lay limp at his side, and walks over to me "Well, as much fun as this was, I really want to go after the real Bryce now. Which means that I have no more use for you" he says as he lifts the gun and points it at my head. I cant believe this is really happening. I'm going to die right now, and Bryce will never know that I forgive him. Sarah was right, and now it's to late.

"You'll see Bryce soon enough" he reassured "I guess this is goodbye" I look directly in his eyes, not giving him the satisfaction of me being afraid in my last moment, and then I hear the gun go off.

* * *

><p>It takes me a moment to realize I'm not dead. Carlos is barking at the other thugs to go take care of the problem, before he turns his attention back to me.<p>

"I guess your brother did come for you after all. That's ok though, it saves me the trouble of having to search for him" he says before he raises the gun up again, but before he gets the chance to pull the trigger, Bryce busts through the door and attacks him. Punching him until he falls to the ground unconscious.

Bryce turns to look at me, anger filling his eyes at the sight of me. I guess I look worse than I feel.

"Neal" he says as he rushes towards me, pulls out a pocket knife and cuts away at my bindings.

"Bryce you came" I said, sounding so broken, and whimpering in pain as Bryce slowly helps me out of the chair.

"Of course I did, now lets get you out of here" Bryce looking a little hurt that I thought he wouldn't come. He starts to help me move, but I stop him, wanting him to know that I'm sorry

"Bryce I need you to know that I'm…"

"Later brother, we got to get you out of here first" he says shifting me so most of my weight was on him.

And then in a split second Carlos was off of the ground, gun in hand pointing it at Bryce

"Bryce watch out" I say as I push him out of the way with all the strength I have left, and feel a pain erupt in my chest before my world turns black

**HOPE IT WASN'T TO BAD…PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW SO I KNOW HOW I DID, IF I DID BAD THEN I KNOW THAT ITS NOT FOR ME, IF I DID GOOD, THEN I MIGHT ADD SOME MORE HURT IN FUTURE STORIES…IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE IDEAS, LET ME KNOW**

**AND THANK YOU FOR THE REALLY NICE COMMENTS, IT MEANS A LOT THAT YOU GUYS REALLY LIKE MY STORY, I CANT STOP SAYING THAT ENOUGH :)**

_**Post U Later & crazy diva…**_**IM ALWAYS GREATFUL FOR IDEAS SO THANK YOU FOR LEAVING SOME…I KNOW THAT I DIDN'T ADD ALL WHAT YOU HAD SAID, BUT I HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT**


	10. Chapter 10

**SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT. I GOT A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW, AND IM NOT SURE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT, BUT ANYWAYS DON'T WANT TO BORE YOU WITH MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I MAKE TIME TWICE A WEEK TO FOCUS ON THIS …HERES THE NEXT CHAPTER HOPE YOU LIKE.**

I only have a second to realize that Carlos was up and pointing a gun aimed at my heart, before I'm violently shoved to the ground. I hear the gun go off, and I see Neal collapse.

"NEAL" I scream, hoping that my eyes were just trying to deceive me, as I look at Neal on the ground, blood pouring from his unmoving body.

"Again, not what I had planned, but it works." I hear Carlos say and turn to see a grin pasted on his face. I feel nothing but rage as I look up at him. Carlos starts to point the gun at me again, this time nothing in his way to stop him…but me. I push myself up and lunge at him.

I ignore the sharp pain I feel rip through my left shoulder as I tackle Carlos to the ground. I'm straddling him to keep him from going anywhere. And I start to punch him, and the rage inside me wont let me stop. I punch him a few times then grab his hair and start to bash his head into the ground, then I go back to punching him.

I'm so consumed by rage I didn't hear Peter yelling at me to stop. I feel myself getting ripped from Carlos, as I roughly try to get free to get back to the bastard that hurt my brother. I step on my captors foot and reel my elbow back and catch him in the face. I go back to attacking Carlos' unmoving bloodied body the moment that I was set free.

Again I am torn away, but this time I hear Peters voice. "He's dead Bryce, he's dead. He cant hurt Neal anymore, he's gone." he says trying to comfort me and help me calm down.

Then I remember that he shot Neal. I push Peter off and run to Neal.

I check for a pulse, and fear takes over when I don't feel one "Peter, he's not breathing." I say as I look up at him. Even though my vision started to blur from my tears, I could still see the fear etched in Peters eyes "He's not breathing, Peter. Help me, please." I say as the EMTs come in and push me out of the way to get to Neal.

Peter helps me up and wont let go of me because he sees how scared I am of losing Neal, and I know he feels the same.

I see the ME's trying to get my brother to breathe and a memory floods my mind.

_Flashback_

_A 10 year old Bryce and Neal are out playing by the lake not to far from their house that was kind of hidden by several trees. They were playing tag, running around and hiding trying to not get caught by the other. It was Neal's turn. He went looking for Bryce and went to the lakes edge._

_He found Bryce lying down on the ground, half in the water and half out. He wasn't moving._

"_Bryce" Neal screams and runs up to Bryce. He shakes him trying to get him to wake up_

"_Bryce, wake up, please" Neal cries out, tears flooding down his cheek._

_All of a sudden Bryce sits up with a smile on his face "April fools" Neal just looks at him shocked and throws himself at his brother, clutching him tightly and crying. After a moment he pulls back and punches Bryce in the arm._

"_Ow, what was that for" Neal glares at him with a tear stricken face._

"_That wasn't funny. I though I lost you. Never EVER do that to me again" Bryce seeing how upset Neal was, just nods his head._

"_I promise. I'm sorry, it was just a joke. I'm not going anywhere ok" Neal nods his head and hugs his brother again._

"_He B."_

"_Yea" Bryce replies. Neal gets up and starts running in the opposite direction shouting "You're it" Bryce smiles brightly and goes to chase after him_

_End of flashback_

I _need_ him to jump up and tell me this is a joke. I _need_ this to be payback for doing it to him. I just need this to _not _be happening.

After several moments of them working on Neal they finally speak up "We got a pulse, lets get him in the ambulance." relief floods through me.

"Bryce you've been shot, why didn't you say anything." I look down at my shoulder and see blood soaking my T-shirt. I was so enraged I didn't even hear the gun go off. If it wasn't for Peter I wouldn't even know that I got shot until later. "I need an EM.." he goes to say before I interrupt him

"No, I'm fine, I don't need it." he looks at me unbelievingly

"Yes you do. Do you not see the bullet hole in your shoulder."

"Neal needs them more than me. I'll go to the hospital with him and get checked out there, but right now, their attention needs to be on him. Please." Peter looks at me intensely for a moment before he nods his head

* * *

><p><em>At the hospital<em>

I'm pacing the halls, waiting on news on Bryce or Neal.

"Peter" I turn to see El coming down the halls towards me, with Mozzie in tow. When she gets to me she wraps me in a hug. I love her hugs, so warm and full of love and comfort. They always make me feel a little better.

I pull away slightly to look at her beautiful face.

"Oh my gosh, what happened, are you ok? Did that guy that hurt Neal do this?" she asks, lightly touching the bruise that was forming around my eye.

"Ah no, that was Bryce." she looks shocked

"Why would Bryce hit you?" I stroke her cheek

"He didn't know it was me." I say, and her expression goes to confused

"I don't understand. How would he not know it's you?" I hadn't told Elizabeth about Neal yet. When I called her, it was to tell her we found him and that we were at the hospital. I wanted to tell her in person, because I know she will be devastated and start to worry, and I want to be there for her.

"Carlos shot Neal, and Bry.." I didn't get to finish when El cut in

"Oh no. Is he going to be ok. He's going to be ok, right" I started to answer when Mozzie spoke up

"Of course he's going to be alright. This is _Neal_ we are talking about. Go on and tell her suit. Tell her that Neal is going to be fine" I look down at Mozzie with sadness in my eyes.

"I wish I could" tears started to fill Elizabeth's eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean. You wish you could. Neal _is_ going to be fine. You'll see, he's going to be fine, he has to be" El unwrapped from me and went to embrace Mozzie, and he clung to her.

A moment later a Doctor came up to us "Are you the family of Bryce"

"Bryce. He got hurt to" EL said looking at me, I just nod my head and turn my attention back to the Doctor.

"We had to send him into surgery when he arrived"

"He's ok isn't he" I asked worry laced in my voice.

"Yes, Bryce is fine. He's in surgery now to remove the bullet. The bullet missed anything vital. A half inch over and I would be giving you not so good news. He's very lucky. He'll be out of surgery soon, and you can see him them"

"What about Neal, he's fine to, right" Mozzie spoke up

"I am not Neal's Doctor. I only know that he went straight to surgery and is in critical condition. I'm sorry I don't have more for you." the doctor said to us before walking away.

"I can't lose him" I turn to see Mozzie close to breaking at the realization that Neal might not be ok.

"Like you said, he'll be fine" I said, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. Just like Mozzie, I can't lose him either, and the thought that I could terrifies me.

* * *

><p>After Bryce gets out of surgery the doctor takes me to his room. El had gone to get us some coffee, and Mozzie had went with her. To keep her company and show support. I'll never forget how great he was towards her. I'll always be grateful to him for that.<p>

When I get there he's sitting up and his arm is in a sling. "How are you feeling Bryce" I ask him, and he shrugs as he looks up at me

"This isn't the first time I've been shot. So I'm fine. How's Neal" he asks worriedly

"We don't know yet. He's still in surgery and the doctors aren't telling us anything" I say ignoring the fact that he's been shot before, at least for now.

"Stupid doctors. Do they get pleasure out of our suffering. I bet they love to make us wait, squirming in our chairs waiting on news that can either heal us or break us, and they know they are the only ones that can give us either one in that moment" I let out a little chuckle at his rant, and he smiles a little to. And then his expression turns to sorrow.

"I can't lose him, Peter. I don't know if I'll survive" I look at Bryce sadly. So many people wouldn't be the same if Neal didn't make it. My team, June, Mozzie, Elizabeth, Bryce, Me.

"He'll make it Bryce" again saying it to convince myself

"And if he doesn't. What am I supposed to do then" he replies. Out of all the times I've seen Bryce, I've never seen him look so broken before.

"You'll have us. We'll all help each other through it" He looks at me confused

"You don't even know me Peter. Ever since I came into your life, I made it more complicated. Neal's mad at you for lying to him, because _I_ had you lie to him. You guys wouldn't be fighting right now if it wasn't for…" not wanting him to go on thinking this was his fault I interrupt.

"Stop it Bryce. This isn't your fault. I chose to lie to Neal. You didn't make me do it. And Neal made my life more complicated also, when he came in it; but I'm glad that he's in it nonetheless. And I'm glad that you are to. I'm here for you Bryce and so is El and Mozzie. You are _not_ alone." I say, trying to get him to see that he has people here who care about him

"But I should be. I ruined Neal's life, and Chucks. It would only be a matter of time before I destroyed yours to"

"Don't talk like that. I don't know this Chuck person so I wont speak for him. But I _know_ that I can speak for Neal when I say that he doesn't think that you ruined his life. He needs you Bryce, just like you need him. And Neal's tough, he can pull through this. So lets not give up hope just yet. Ok."

"You're right. Thanks" I smile at him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm going to go see if the doctors will tell us anything now. You going to be ok?" he nods his head. And I go to leave.

BPOV

Memories of me and Neal growing up, fills my mind. It hurts remembering all the good times, not knowing if there will be anymore in the future, hoping that's not all I'll have left of Neal. I don't want to have just a memory of my brother. I want to make more memories, this cant be how it ends.

"You must be the lovely Bryce I have been hearing about" I get pulled out of my thoughts to see Peters wife leaning against the door jam.

"And you must be Peters beautiful Wife Elizabeth" I say in response. She gives me a little smile and makes her way over to the bed.

"How are you holding up" she asks concerned

"I'm fine" she laughs

"You and Neal are a lot alike. With the whole not wanting to let people in part" I sigh, I guess it couldn't hurt to open up to her, at least a little bit.

"My brother got tortured and shot, and it's my fault. How do you think I'm doing" I say, not meaning for it to come out so harsh, but when I look up at her, she doesn't look phased by my little out burst.

"You shouldn't blame yourself Bryce, because it isn't your fault" anger fills me

"Then who's fault is it, if not mine" I asked desperately

"You could always blame the guy that went after Neal. That's a good place to start" sorrow takes place of the anger. I reply not liking how broken I sounded

"But Carlos wouldn't have even went after Neal if it wasn't for…" she interrupts, not letting me finish

"For what, the fact that he looks like you. That's not your fault." I look at her for a moment and I know she's right. She is one amazing lady. Peter is a very lucky guy.

"You're right. I know you're right, thanks" she smiles, a real smile this time.

"I know I am, and you're welcome"

* * *

><p><em>A week and a half later<em>

I walk inside to see Peter putting his jacket on. "On your way to the hospital"

"Yeah, just want to see how Neal's progressing"

I nod my head "How's Bryce handling all this"

"The same as before. He just sits in Neal's room, he only leaves to clean up and eat something, and that's only because Mozzie makes him. He's trying to hold it together, but I'm afraid that if Neal doesn't wake up, that Bryce wont be able to survive it" I look at him sadly, knowing that he's right.

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

It has been a week and 4 days, and Neal still hasn't woken up. The doctors don't understand why. They repaired the damage that was done from the bullet, they cant think of any reason why he shouldn't wake up, except that maybe he just doesn't want to. If that's the case, then not only is Neal here because of me, but he wont wake up because he hates me. Because I betrayed him.

I was heading towards Neal's room when I see Sarah standing in the hallway.

"What are you doing here Sarah" I say as I reach her

"Just wanted to see if there was any progress with Neal" she looks at me, and I can see the genuine concern in her eyes "and I wanted to see if you were all right" I thought about saying I'm fine, like I do with everyone else, but Sarah isn't everyone else.

"I trying to hang in there. It just hurts seeing him so banged up, and not knowing if he's going to wake up" I answer truthfully

"Bryce, I know that you're going through a lot right now, and that this isn't the time, but about the whole chuck thing" I cut her off

"It's ok Sarah. I will admit, that it hurt a little at first, but I can understand. Chuck's amazing, and he would be great for you. I love you Sarah, and I want you to be happy. If I have to watch you with another man, then I'm glad it's Chuck" I say to her calmly, and she smiles faintly.

"Thanks Bryce, that means a lot, but it could never work between us. He's the intersect, and it's my job to protect him. I cant do that job if I get emotionally involved" I smile at her and brush some of her hair behind her ear, and caress her cheek before I drop my hand back down to my side.

"Sarah, you and I both know that you don't think of Chuck as just the intersect, and you're already emotionally involved. You are the only one making it so that you guys wont work." I can see the struggle in her eyes. The thought of letting someone in terrifying her.

"It's going to be ok Sarah. You'll let him in when you're ready, and when you do, you'll be happier than you have ever been" I say and she looks at me not sure if she's ready to believe that but smiles anyways.

"Thanks Bryce. Let me know if anything changes with Neal, ok" I nod my head and she gives me a hug, being careful not to put to much pressure against my left shoulder.

After we let go I watch her leave, hoping that one day she'll get her happy ending, knowing full well that she definitely deserves it. After see turns the corner and is out of site, I go to Neal's room.

I lean up against the door jam, just staring at him. Hoping that today will be the day that he opens his eyes.

I push off of the wall and walk up to Neal's bed. I grab a hold of his hand and just look at him. How could this happen, how could I _let_ this happen.

"Please wake up Neal. I need you. I've made a lot of mistakes concerning you, and I want, no I _need _the chance to fix them. And if you don't wake up, then I cant do that. So please, please wake up." I cant help but clutch onto his hand like its my life support .

"I was wrong to want to keep me being alive from you. I thought that I was doing what was right, and I knew I was wrong when Peter talked to me, but I never _really_ understood how wrong I was until right now. The thought of losing you, I don't know what I would have done if it was me who lost you and not the other way around. Living for months thinking that you were dead, I don't know if I would have survived. You were always the stronger one." I say as my eyes start to water.

"You always said that we took care of each other, but the truth is that it was mostly just you." I sob out

"Bryce, he's going to be ok. Neal's tough, he'll pull through this" I don't bother to look back at Peter, I just continue to stare at Neal.

"What if he doesn't huh, what if I lose the only person that I have left that matters to me" I growl out

"You shouldn't think like that" Peter says. I hear him move a little closer, but not to close.

"This is my fault, he wouldn't be in here dying right now, if it wasn't for me" I snap back

"We've been over this before Bryce. You didn't know that this was going to happen, you cant blame yourself for this, and Neal wouldn't want you to either"

"Well since you seem to know everything, tell me how I'm _not_ supposed to feel like this is all my fault. My brother is lying here, fighting for his life, because he looks like me, because someone that _I _pissed off wanted me dead and thought he was me" I shout.

"I was born first, so technically you're the one that looks like me" Neal says in a raspy voice that's barley audible.

I look down at my brother as he slowly opens his eyes, shocked that he's finally awake. I hear Peter come rushing to the other side of the bed, not believing it either, but still happy that he's finally back with us.

"You're awake, how do you feel, are you in any pain" I ask in a rush

"I could use some water, my throat feels like its on fire" his voice hoarse, and I go get him a cup of water on the side table.

"Take slow sips" I say as I help him drink it

"Having a tube down your throat for a couple of days can do that to you" Peter says with a smile

"So can screaming and being chocked to the point of death" I flinch, causing Neal to look guilty for bringing it up.

"You scared the crap out of me Neal. Don't ever do that again" I say, trying to keep the harshness out of my voice

"I'll try not to" he says with a smirk.

"What the hell were you thinking Neal, jumping in front of that bullet for me" I bark out

"I was thinking that I didn't want to lose my brother again" he answered painfully

"For months I had to learn to deal with the fact that you weren't going to be there anymore. And when I was in that room, tied up and in pain, knowing that I was probably going to die down there. You have no idea how much it tore me up inside to think that I _just_ got you back, and all I did was yell at you. I thought that I was never going to get the chance to tell you that I love you. I was angry that you lied to me, but in that moment when he had the gun to my head and I knew I was about to die, I was more angry at me for not hugging you and being more thankful that you weren't really gone" his voice straining at the end from talking to much after his voice still hasn't had proper time to heal. "I'm sorry that I scared you, but I wasn't going to let you die" he frowned

"I understand, but I don't want you to choose you dieing over me" I say

"You know that's not going to happen. You would take the bullet for me if you could. So how can you ask me to not do the same" he says looking at me, daring me to say anything else about it. I just nod my head.

"It's really good to see you awake. I'm going to go get the doctor" Peter says, as the tension leaves his body knowing that Neal was going to be ok.

NPOV

My whole body was in pain. Aching from the hell that I went through. But the physical pain wasn't the worst of it.

"Are you ok, Neal" Bryce looks at me with worry.

"No B, I'm not" I say as I inhale a shaky breath

"What's wrong, are you in pain. Peter will be back with the doc…" I shake my head, but regret it instantly.

"No, that's not it" I say swallowing hard, hoping that the pain in my head will go away.

"Then what" Bryce asks

"I made a mistake" he looked at me confused "I over reacted, when I should have just been grateful that you were alive" his eyes widen slightly

"Neal, that's not true" he said trying to reassure me

"Please let me finish" He looks at me for a moment and nods his head for me to continue

"When I was down there, I had no doubt that you and Peter would find me. But as time went on, I regrettably say that I was starting to think that you guys may not make it. When the thought that you guys might be to late entered my head, all I could think was that I was never going to get the chance to let you know that I forgive you. That you would have thought that I died hating you, and that terrified me more than anything" I continue, looking at the stunned expression on his face

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me, so I need you to know that I forgive you. Now I need you to forgive me"

"There's nothing to forgive Neal. You didn't do anything wrong. You were right to react the way you did." he explained

"Maybe, maybe not, but I still need you to forgive me…if you can" he places his right hand on my head, softly brushing my hair

"Of course I can forgive you Neal. You're my brother and I need" I smile up at him. Happy that I have my brother back.

I take a good look at him, and see that he has bags under his eyes. He no doubt hasn't slept since I've been here. Then I look at his arm and see its in a sling, not believing that I missed it before.

"Bryce, what the hell happened to your arm"

**MADE THIS CHAPTER LONGER, SINCE YOU GUYS HAD TO WAIT. HOPE YOU LIKE. WOULD LOVE SOME FEEDBACK…LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK…SORRY IF THERE ARE A LOT OF MISTAKES, I STAYED UP A WHILE SO I COULD GET THIS DONE FOR YOU GUYS**


	11. Authors Note

**AUTORS NOTE**

**I am working on the next chapter like I said I would. Problem is I'm kind of stuck. I have the next scene with Neal and Bryce and other ones I'll be putting throughout the chapter. I'm just not sure how to connect it all, but don't worry I will figure it out. I would love some ideas on what you guys would like to see happen.**

**Thank you **_**Annie rules**_**…that is a great idea and I will make sure that I add that in the story. I always love feedback and ideas on what my readers would like to see. It helps me write a story that I hope everyone will love. Let me know if you guys have ideas, you can leave it in a review of just sent me a message and I will always leave credit for your help. Thank you and I will keep working on it and hopefully have it all figured out soon so I can post the next chapter.**


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